


ppg vs sailor moon FIGHT

by Fullmetalruby



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT, also sai is an uchiha, also trans sasuke, au where naruto and sasuke talk about their problems, fight, memes and other tomfoolery, naruto is into powerpuff girls, sakura texts like a mom, sasuke is AP everything, sasuke is into sailor moon, shino and neji run away together every other chapter, sorry if its too ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 15:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13010259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fullmetalruby/pseuds/Fullmetalruby
Summary: Sakura Haruno created group chat Help?Sakura Haruno added Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto UzumakiNaruto Uzumaki  changed their name to BubblesBubbles changed Sakura Haruno’s name to BlossomBlossom: Wait, what?Bubbles changed Sasuke Uchiha’s name to ButtercupBubbles: anyway sakura you were saying





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i just finished my first quarter of college classes and i'm feeling dead inside sooooooo my kids get to feel it too

_ 7:15 AM _

**Sakura Haruno** _created group chat_ ** _Help?_**

 **Sakura Haruno** _added_ **Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki**

**Naruto Uzumaki** _ changed their name to  _ **Bubbles**

**Bubbles** _ changed  _ **Sakura Haruno** _ ’s name to  _ **Blossom**

**Blossom:** Wait, what?

**Bubbles** _ changed  _ **Sasuke Uchiha** _ ’s name to  _ **Buttercup**

**Bubbles:** anyway sakura you were saying

**Blossom:** Yeah...

Um, I know that I’m not normally the one who has to say this, but did one of you do the Calc homework?

**Bubbles:** saku you kno ily but you dont wanna copy my hw

**Blossom:** Sas?

**Bubbles:** saaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssukeeeeeeeeeeee

**Blossom:** I think he might be in class

**Bubbles:** but school doesn’t start for another 45min???

**Blossom:** He has AP Biochemistry before school, remember?

**Bubbles:** oh yeah he was bitching about that wasnt he

**Buttercup:** If you two want to shut up before Yashagoro takes away my phone that would be great

Sakura, if you need homework answers then try asking your girlfriend before you ask your dumbass friend and your friend who isn’t in calc

**Blossom:** OMG, Sasuke you’re right!

**Buttercup:** This is Professor Yashagoro. I’ve confiscated Mr. Uchiha’s phone. Let this serve as a lesson to not text when your friends tell you they’re in class.

 

 _8:05 AM_ **_Help?_**

**Buttercup:** Sorry I missed early morning gossip today, Juugo needed my help with something

Also, Naruto, explain the names?

**Bubbles:** a) youre allowed to just say you and juugo were doin the naughty in the 3rd floor bathroom

b) sometimes i forget you grew up on sailor moon and not on powerpuff girls like a normal person

**Buttercup** _ left  _ **_Help?_ **

**Bubbles** _ added  _ **Buttercup** _ to  _ **_Help?_ **

**Buttercup** _ changed their name to  _ **Sailor Mars**

**Sailor Mars:** Get fucked Bubbles

**Blossom:** As much as I love being Blossom (who is indisputably the best ppg, shut up Naruto) I think Sasuke has the right idea.

**Blossom** _ changed their name to  _ **Sailor Jupiter**

**Bubbles** _ changed their name to  _ **Sailor Moon**

**Sailor Moon:** because im the protag here

**Sailor Mars:** ....

**Sailor Jupiter:** ....

**Sailor Mars** _ changed  _ **Sailor Moon** _ ’s name to  _ **Chibiusa**

**Chibiusa:** okay rude

**Sailor Mars:** Tell me I’m wrong

**Chibiusa** _ left  _ **_Help?_ **

 

 _11:23 AM_   ** _MEEM TEEM_**

**Red Queen:** Is it just me

Or like

Is Yashagoro not human

**Snow White:** That’s not nice

**Diet Water:** no, for once the thot makes sense

**Snow White:** It’s still not nice

**Emo Legolas:** Explain yourself

**Red Queen:** 1) he always looks perfect

**Diet Water:** amen

**Red Queen:** shush

2) he always gets our grades in on time on top of all his other students

**Emo Legolas:** Just because the man can actually do his job doesn’t make him an alien Karin

**Red Queen:** 3) he can deal with the four of us alone in a room for three hours a day

If that’s not convincing by itself then I don’t know what it

**Diet Water:** IT

**Red Queen:** *is

Shut up the fuck Suigetsu

**Diet Water:** *it

**Snow White:** Can you two be civil for two seconds please

**Red Queen:** shut the fuck up Juugo

**Diet Water:** shut up the fuck Juugo

**Emo Legolas:** Okay a) if you can’t be nice to Juugo then go die, and b) explain your last point

**Snow White:** <3

**Emo Legolas:** ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

**Red Queen:** I think ur nice enough to Juugo for the entire world combined Sasgay

**Diet Water:** also i think you need to take a step back and look at us if you don’t think we’re a shitty group of kids

I mean

The sauce gay has been accused of murder on several occasions

**Emo Legolas:** None of those cases ever went to trial

**Diet Water:** your urge to clarify and not make excuses worries me

I got expelled from my last school for peeping

Karin is on her period 24/7

**Red Queen:** Die

**Diet Water:** My point makes itself

And Juugo’s been suspended for fighting how many times?

Juugo?

**Snow White:** ...

Seven

Maybe nine

I don't remember

**Emo**   **Legolas:** I don't care for your knowledge of our criminal records Suigetsu

 **Diet Water:** get fucked princess


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's weed and Neji likes to get drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to the lovely g.o.d who commented last chapter. I have posted a reply. I hope you like it ;)))))))

_3:17 PM_

**DOGS** _to group chat_ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**DOGS:** yo has anyone seen shika

or neji

we have rehearsal today and we kinda need the love interest and the av guy

 **dress to depress:** last i saw they were together but that was half an hour ago

 **DOGS:** okay nardo do ur thing

 **puppetmaster:** what’s his thing???

 **DOGS:** o yeah you didnt go here last year

 **sunshine:** okay theyre

behind the gym

smoking weed

with chouji

 **DOGS:** pretty much nard has a set of omniscient dnd dice and freshman year we made a chart so we can roll them and know all

Shino go check behind the gym

 **shino:** no

 **DOGS:** but baaaaaabeeeeee

 **shino:** no

 **DOGS:** does someone who actually loves me wanna go check the gym

 **sunshine:** i should probs warn you that the dice say it might be an orgy back there soooooo

whoever goes should proceed with caution

 **swissrolls >you: **as a chouji i can confirm that i am here but there is sadly, no orgy

shika offered but im saving myself for marriage

but neji is still making a valiant effort

 **10/10:** hoo boy he is never gonna get to forget this one

bless you chouji for your contribution to this chat

i love blazed neji

 **10/10** _took a screenshot of chat_

 **10/10:** quick everyone say your favorite neji

 **hitmonlee:** I WILL START MY FAVORITE NEJI IS SLEEPY JUST-WOKE-UP NEJI

 **sunshine** : my favorite neji is whiskey drunk flirty neji

 **dress to depress:** my favorite neji is bitchy, gossipy girl’s night neji

 **sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** my favorite neji is wine drunk flirty neji

 **ptsd™:** My favorite Neji is vodka drunk emotional Neji

 **orange thor:** Why have so many of you been drunk with Neji?

 **10/10:** we don’t get drunk with him, he just kinda shows up at our houses and raids our liquor cabinets

My uncle is actually kinda angry about it but he says if anyone needs a drink it’s neji so he doesn’t protest as much as he would if I had done it

_3:32 PM_

**10/10:** okay but did anyone go check on them

I distinctly remember the last time shika drove while high I heard his mom screaming three streets away

 **ptsd™:** I think Sakura went to find them

 **Bitchmama:** They’re on the little hill behind the gym. Neji is cloudwatching and Shikamaru is playing with Neji’s hair and talking about how its softer than Coach Maito’s grading system.

 **dress to depress:** Do they know you’re there????? Take pictures for me???

 **10/10:** fuck pictures get me a video of that shit

I HAVE NEVER ASKED ANYTHING OF YOU SAKURA DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME

 **Bitchmama** _sent a video_ [cute shit.mp4]

 **10/10:** Sakura Haruno if you were single i would snatch you up so fast you are a treasure

 **Bitchmama:** I am single though?

 **sunshine:** when did you bread up with ino

*break

 **DOGS:** BREAD

 **swissrolls >you: **BREAD

 **greywater:** BREAD

 **ptsd™:** Suigetsu how long have you been lurking

 **greywater:** long enough to see bread

back to the sakuino/sakuten discourse please

 **Bitchmama:** I brode up with Ino never, because we never dated.

 **sunshine:** you kno sometimes i forget why sakura hangs out with losers like us and then she says stuff like brode and i remember

 **10/10** _sent a picture_ [omw to steal ur girl ino.png]

 **Bitchmama:** Tenten, don’t text and drive please.

I can’t date you if you’re dead.

 **10/10:** how did you know i have to drive to get to you

im a member of theatre club too yanno

 **DOGS:** because everyone knows you don’t show up on thursdays

i must also tell you not to drive and text at the same time because fyi the ticket for it is hefty

 **sunshine:** hey

hey kiba

do you have something to tell us

 **ptsd™:** Don’t say anything Kiba, Suigetsu keeps a folder of all our criminal activity

 **greywater:** don’t kinkshame me

 **ptsd™:** i

 **shino:** i hate this fucking family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sakuten wasn't supposed to be a thing but whatever  
> Cast in order of appearance:  
> DOGS- kiba  
> dress to depress- ino  
> puppetmaster- kankurou  
> sunshine- naruto  
> shino- shino  
> swissroll>you- chouji  
> 10/10- tenten  
> hitmonlee- lee  
> sand guardian, guardian of the sand- gaara  
> ptsd TM- sasuke  
> orange thor- juugo  
> Bitchmama- sakura  
> greywater- suigetsu


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for ease of storytelling the sand sibs are now the sand triplets

_ 2:45 PM _

**Emo Legolas** _ to group chat  _ **_MEEM TEEM_ **

**Emo Legolas:** so are we ever gonna actually meet up for d&d or what

I told my uncle and he got really excited that I'm actually going out and doing things with real people

**Diet Water:** does d&d count as going out though

**Emo Legolas:** it does to my uncle

He said we should invite more people but like

No

**Red Queen:** we literally won't all fit in my house sooooo I can't host but I'm down to play

**Emo Legolas:** My uncle (who is reading over my shoulder and needs to back tf off) says we can host at our place

And he wants to DM so

Obito vs Juugo

**Diet Water:** is he a good storyteller

**Emo Legolas:** “Bitch I'm a bestselling author”, which he actually is

“I used to DM in high school before my friends all ditched me” also true, I have testimonials

Juugo?

**Snow White:** I'm fine with it

**Emo Legolas:** “So do I finally get to meet the boyfriend you've been talking nonstop about?”

**Snow White:** yes

**Red Queen:** awww you talk about him nonstop!!

**Snow White:** (//ω//)

**Emo Legolas:** ( ´∀｀)ノ～ ♡

 

_ 6:30 PM _

**puppetmaster** _ to group chat  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**puppetmaster:** okay so @drunk

**drunk:** What

**puppetmaster:** i dont think youre the one doing this but it wouldnt surprise me if you were

but if you know who Gaara’s weed supplier is tell me

We need to have a talk

**drunk:** Well first I need confirmation that you won’t do anything to hurt him

He has good prices

**puppetmaster:** i make no promises

**hacker voice:** our normal supplier is deidara

no idea if he also sells to Gaara tho

in case you havent noticed we live in a druggie zone

**puppetmaster:** is deidara the one that got expelled for making dolls of people and got like 20 restraining orders out on him

**ptsd ™:** No, that’s Sasori

Deidara is the one that got expelled for blowing up a kiln

**puppetmaster:** hey @sunshine @hitmonlee

**sunshine:** que

**hitmonlee:** YES WHAT DO YOU NEED

**puppetmaster:** do you know where Gaara gets his weed

**sunshine:** ive been sworn to secrecy

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** lee don’t say a word

**hitmonlee:** I AM SORRY KANKUROU BUT I VALUE MY LIFE

**puppetmaster:** ROCK LEE

**hitmonlee** _ left  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**puppetmaster** _ added  _ **hitmonlee** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**puppetmaster:** LEE

**hitmonlee:** NO

 

_ 6:43 PM _

**puppetmaster** _ to  _ **hitmonlee**

**Puppetmaster:** lee I know you dont want to betray Gaara’s trust

but our dad isnt as oblivious as Gaara thinks he is and dad if dad finds out what Gaara’s doing then i dont want to think about what dad’ll do to him

please

**hitmonlee:** He buys from Zetsu, every other Thursday night behind the shell station

I know that Gaara is already in trouble for his choice of my company and I want to keep him out of further trouble as much as possible.

 

_ 6:48 PM _

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand** _to_ **_hello naughty children it's murder time_**

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** kankurou please 

**puppetmaster:** Gaara I am your big brother it is my job to protect you

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** you are four minutes older than me shut up

**better triplet:** Fine. Gaara, as your big sister then it's my job to make sure Dad doesn't get any angrier at you than he already does.

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** temari please stop

**better triplet:** Dad is already pissed that you're dating lee. I don't want to think of what will happen if he finds out you're smoking.

Gaara please

 

_ 6:55 PM _

**better triplet:** Gaara?

 

_ 6:59 PM _

**Gaara Sabakuno** _ created group chat  _ **Gaara’s Sobriety Society**

**Gaara Sabakuno** _ added  _ **Temari Sabakuno, Kankurou Sabakuno, Naruto Uzumaki, Rock Lee**

**Gaara Sabakuno:** Day 0

Dad doesn't suspect a thing

**Naruto Uzumaki** _ changed their name to _ **Nards**

**Temari Sabakuno** _ changed their name to  _ **Sand 1**

**Kankurou Sabakuno** _ changed their name to  _ **Sand 2**

**Sand 2** _ changed  _ **Gaara Sabakuno** _ ’s name to  _ **Sand 3**

**Rock Lee** _ changed their name to  _ **the boyf**

**Nards:** well now that we got that straightened out

I assume that we're here to provide support and encouragement until your dad stops paying attention?

**Sand 3:** correct


	4. Chapter 4

_ 12:34 AM _

**sunshine** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**sunshine:** I REALLY CAN'T STAY

**DOGS:** BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

**sunshine:** I'VE GOT TO GO AWAY

**DOGS:** BUT BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE 

**drunk:** no

**ptsd™:** Naruto you're in Puerto Rico how is it cold outside

**sunshine:** THIS EVENING HAS BEEN

**DOGS:** BEEN HOPING THAT YOU'D DROP IN

**sunshine:** SO VERY NICE

**DOGS:** I'LL HOLD YOUR HANDS, THEY'RE JUST LIKE ICE

**drunk** _ left  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**ptsd™** _ left  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**DOGS:** good theyre gone now lets talk revolution

**sunshine:** no

 

_ 2:28 PM _

**dress to depress** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**dress to depress:** Okay so me and the boys are watching yugioh right

**sunshine:** why are you all such filthy weebs

**drunk:** Naruto you are aware that we live in the largest East Asian immigrant community in the state right

**ptsd™:** Naruto your parents are both immigrants

I think you might actually be the only person in this chat who isn’t fluent in an East Asian language

Why are you such a Westernist

**sunshine:**

**drunk:** Anyway Ino what were you saying

**dress to depress:** So I was watching yugioh with Shika and Chouji and I realized that I fucking hate Mutou Yuugi

He’s such a little bitch

**swissrolls >you:** no-one in this show actually knows how to play yugioh

They can’t even fucking draw cards right

**hacker voice:** no one who uses such valuable cards would draw them like that??? Even Kaiba would probably be using sleeved proxies, at least in competition

Fuck this show for teaching kids the incorrect gaming practices

**greywater:** hey shitsquad why do you know so much about yugiho

 

_ 2:37 PM _

**hungry** _ to  _ **_the kool kids_ **

**hungry** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_shitsquad_ **

**hungry:** okay so they’re not allowed to know that we actually met at a yugioh tournament and not at birth right

**pretty:** What happens in kindergarten stays in kindergarten

**tired:** What happens at the yugioh world tournament finals stays at the yugioh world tournament finals

they are also not to know that we all still play competitively

**hungry:** agreed

**pretty:** agreed

 

_ 2:38 PM _

**swissrolls >you ** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**swissrolls >you: ** we got bored last summer and learned the game in like 2 hours

**dress to depress:** yeah it was kind of a waste of time

**hacker voice:** but now i have an excuse to get irrationally angry at a kids show so who’s the real winner here

**DOGS:** okay… sounds fake but okay…

**drunk:** Yeah no, their dads used to play against each other in tournaments so they were super into it too and they met at a world championship when they were like 6

They still play in tournaments and they always get into the final 8

Don’t let them lie to you

**hacker voice:** FUCK

**dress to depress:** FUCK

**swissrolls >you: ** FUCK

**hacker voice** _ left  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**dress to depress** _ left _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**swissrolls >you ** _ left _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**sunshine:** betrayal

**drunk:** “babe how could you do me dirty like this” -shika

“i thought we were tight” -Ino

“fuck you jackie chan” -Chouji

I think they’re all crossfaded

That’s the only way they can all watch yugioh without committing murder

**DOGS:** feelin the love in this chilis tonight

**sunshine:** hey neji if shika breaks up with you for betraying him/ if you break up with him for getting crossfaded without you then im ready and willing to take his place in ur arms

**drunk:** no

**DOGS:** nice try nards but neji has standards

**shino:** hey neji if you and shika break up then i will leave kiba and we can run away from his hell together

**drunk:** why wait

**DOGS** _added_ **hacker voice, dress to depress,** _and_ **swissrolls >you **_to_ ** _sarutobi homeroom_**

**DOGS:** hey shika talk your bf out of stealing mine

**hacker voice:** ???

**sunshine:** (psst read the backchat)

**dress to depress:** Hey shika look neji finally found his standards

**swissrolls >you: ** hey shika look neji finally found his standards

**hacker voice:** hey look neji finally found his standards

**hitmonlee:** IS NO-ONE ELSE DISTURBED BY THE FACT THAT INO, SHIKAMARU, AND CHOUJI ARE ALWAYS FINISHING EACH OTHER’S THOUGHTS AND SPEAKING IN TANDEM

***~princess~*:** Shikamaru, you shouldn’t be so self-deprecating! You’re a real catch, I promise!

**Better Triplet:** Hey Hinata I love you but the shitsquad is right. Neji really scraped the bottom of the barrel with Shika

(@neji if shino is too high-maintenance then I’m here)

**10/10:** hey @everyone why do you want to fuck neji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had  
> too much fun with this chapter  
> I may or may not have projected my own feelings about yugioh onto these kids


	5. Chapter 5

_ 12:02 AM _

**jackie chan** _ to  _ **_shitsquad + neji_ **

**jackie chan:** [happy new year.jpg]

Ringing in the new year with the good shit courtesy of my uncle’s friends who are drunker than me rn

**pretty:** hellll yeahh nej, save some for me

**jackie chan:** no

**pretty:** i don’t blame you

**hungry:** you start off the year hammered

now the real challenge is to stay that way all year

but you already act like a tired drunk all the time… won’t be able to tell the difference

**jackie chan:** what do you mean “”””act”””????   
**hungry:** oh

**pretty:** lol true

**hungry:** shit

**pretty:** welp i think we know what neji’s future looks like

**jackie chan:** we established a long time ago that i’m gonna be a drunkard who’s dead by 30 okay

**tired:** don’t let him fool you, he’s drinking sparkling cider

we’ve been around this carousel before

**jackie chan:** babe dont expose me like this

**tired:** vengeance

 

_ 4:20 PM _

**DOGS** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**DOGS:** EYYY ITS 420

**ptsd™:** Kiba I am giving you exactly one chance to redeem yourself before I fuck you up do you hear me

**shino:** kiba no

**DOGS:** YOU KNOW WHAT 420 MEANS

**better triplet:** Kiba

**shino:** kiba

**DOGS:** B L A Z E  I T 

**shino:** hey drunk is that offer to elope still open

**drunk:** beep beep im out front

**shino:** [this is your punishment kiba.jpeg]

**DOGS:** are you

do yall wanna not send me pictures of my bf with his feet in someone else’s lap

**Bitchmama:** Like Shino said, Kiba; this is your punishment for all the weed memes.

**DOGS:** @hacker voice

@hacker voice

@hacker voice

**hacker voice:** what

**DOGS:** your bf is running away with mine for real this time do something

they sent a picture

**hacker voice:** hot

**DOGS:** i

**DOGS** _ left  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**sunshine** _added_ **DOGS** _to_ ** _sarutobi homeroom_**

**sunshine:** face the music kiba

this is why dating is The Worst and i dont partake

you dont get to make weed jokes anymore

**Bitchmama:** Naruto, I thought you don’t date because your boner for Sasuke was too strong?

**sunshine:** middle school was a dark time saku

we all had crushes we regret

**ptsd™:** We all had boyfriends we regret

**puppetmaster:** you two used to date???? what????????

**sunshine:** allow me to repeat myself

middle school was a dark time

we didnt have standards yet

**ptsd™:** Juugo wasn’t around yet, I had to settle for a lesser buff

Who was not yet as buff as I wanted but

**puppetmaster:** wait

sas do you have a thing for buff guys

**greywater:** yea he does

i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but every time they’re close enough sasuke is clinging to juugo’s biceps

getting drunk with them is a Time because sasuke is a horny drunk

**ptsd™:** I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

**10/10:** did sasuke just meme

**biting kink:** suigetsu and i have been trying to educate the poor emo bab

we apparently managed to teach him something


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha drama

_ 8:35 PM _

**Diet Water** _ to  _ **_MEEM TEEM_ **

**Diet Water:** has anyone heard from legolas today

**Red Queen:** no

why

**Diet Water:** because ive been memeing at him all day and he hasn’t replied 

normally hes blown up at me like 5 times by now

**Red Queen:** have you considered that maybe he’s just ignoring you??

**Snow White:** he’s not ignoring you

**Diet Water:** are you sure

**Snow White:** his uncle took his phone away

**Red Queen:** but obito is so chill???? he never disciplines the sauce

**Diet Water:** what did he do

juugo

juugo fucking answer me what did your boyfriend do

**Red Queen:** omg are you the couple that senju caught having sex in the bathroom

**Diet Water:** JUUGO

JUUGO ANSWER ME

 

_ 8:42 PM _

**greywater** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**greywater:** okay i think i already know the answer to this but

does anyone know why sasukes uncle confiscated his phone

**Bitchmama:** LOL!

**sunshine:** lmao

yeah i know why

**greywater:** naruto im begging you to confirm my suspicions

**sunshine:** principal senju caught sas and juugo doin the dirty in the bathroom during 4th period

they wouldve gotten off with just a warning if they werent skipping class to do it

**swissrolls >you: ** heh

gotten off

**hacker voice:** chouji i’m breaking up with you

**swissrolls >you: ** we’re not dating

**hacker voice:** if we were dating, i would be breaking up with you right now

**sunshine:** speaking of dating

did neji and shino ever come back or did they disappear into the sunset together

**shino:** we drove to vegas and got married

**drunk:** it was a lovely ceremony

**shino:** elvis officiated. two lovely girls named candi and sapphire were our witnesses

**drunk:** then we made it back in time for school the next day

**dress to depress:** see I know this can’t be true because neji in vegas would be a drunk neji and drunk neji is a neji who l i v e s for snapchat

and sober me lives for snapchat, so there’s no way I wouldn’t know if neji and shino got married

Also if they were getting married they kinda have to invite me

**shino:** no

**drunk:** the fuck we do

shino get the fuck back in the car we’re gonna go get married for real and ino isn’t invited

**dress to depress:** 凸(￣ヘ￣)

**shino:** [get fucked ino.jpeg]

**dress to depress:** rude

**DOGS:** okay, so a list of things my boyfriend has sent to this group chat that make me feel things

  1. said he was breaking up with me for the kung fu princess
  2. ran away with the kung fu princess
  3. put his feet in the kung fu princess’s lap instead of mine. rode shotgun in kung fu princess’s car and sent a picture of said princess that makes me feel different things
  4. sent a picture of him and the princess holding hands and wearing cheap plastic rings



i don’t like this guys

**10/10:** wait but if neji is kung fu princess than what am i

**DOGS:** kung fu queen

**10/10:** okay thats acceptable

continue wallowing in your misery

**DOGS:** thanks for your permission

**10/10:** youre welcome

**DOGS:** shino

shino dont do this to me

i love you and i require constant validation from a romantic partner

**puppetmaster:** a more pressing question; why did neji and/or shino have matching cheap plastic rings handy???

**drunk:** I live with hinata???

**puppetmaster:** ????explain????

  
  


_ 9:45 PM _

**Shino Aburame** _ created group chat  _ **_chat_ **

**Shino Aburame** _ added  _ **Shikamaru Nara, Neji Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka**

**Shino Aburame:** actually Kiba, we need to talk

 

_ 12:03 AM _

**Sand 1** _ to  _ **_gaara’s sobriety society_ **

**Sand 1:** Gaara, report

**Sand 3:** Day 7

Just disposed of the last of my

ahem

supplies

**Sand 2:** ripperoni

**the boyf:** THAT IS A MOMENTOUS ACHIEVEMENT MY DOVE

WE SHOULD CELEBRATE

**Sand 3:** can we celebrate without having to go anywhere

**the boyf:** …

IF YOU WISH

**Sand 2:** Rock Lee If You So Much As Touch My Precious Baby Brother We Are Going To Have Problems

**Sand 3:** kankurou you are four

minutes

older

than me

shut your puppethole

**Sand 2:** i

**nards:** PUPPETHOLE

gaara ilysm

if you werent dating lee i would snatch you up so fast

**Sand 1:** I know I never speak in the homeroom group chat, but know that I do read everything, and I just want you all to know that the drama in that chat does not need to be replicated here


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A coalition is formed

_ 9:46 AM _

**Kiba Inuzuka** _ to  _ **_chat_ **

**Kiba Inuzuka:** what do you mean “we need to talk”?

**Shino Aburame:** In the past few weeks i have noticed that neji and i are acting like more of a couple than i am with my own boyfriend

and after discussing it with neji

we have decided to ask if you, Kiba and Shikamaru, would like to quit being couples and start being a polyamorous foursome

That’s what we were doing while we were supposedly in Vegas. We were sitting in my room and trying to figure out how to ask you two to do this.

**Shikamaru Nara:** I’m down

I’m not about to turn away the opportunity to see under Shino’s hood and glasses

**Neji Hyuuga:** hes very attractive let me assure you

**Kiba Inuzuka:** I’m fine with this

But are you sure you actually want me in on it???

**Neji Hyuuga:** BEEP BEEP KIBA GET IN THE CAR IM OUT FRONT

WE’RE GONNA GO GET MARRIED

**Shikamaru Nara:** he got wasted to hype himself up for asking you out and now he’s in the passenger’s seat holding a paper plate

i’m driving

**Shino Aburame:** first we’re gonna bget mcdonalds

then we can get married

**Neji Hyuuga:** lets get married in mcds

**Shino Aburame:** babe don’t text and drive

**Neji Hyuuga:** shit u right

 

_ 4:34 PM _

**Kibs** _ to  _ **dog squad**

**Kibs:** [GOOD PUP.jpeg]

GUYS LOOK AT THIS PUP

**Nads:** HOLY SHIT

**Saks:** FUCKIGN HECK

SUCH A GOOD PUPPER

A+++++ DOGGO

**Kibs:** IKR

I WAS DRIVING AND THIS LITTLE GUY WAS JUST SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND I STOPPED THE CAR AND HE JUST JUMPED IN WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR AND I THINK SOMEONE JUST ABANDONED HIM THERE

IM SITTING AT THE CURB AND HOLDING THIS DOG AND CRYING 

THOUGH THE CRYING IS ALSO DUE TO OTHER THINGS

 

_ 7:37 PM _

**Kibs** _ to  _ **dog squad**

**Kibs:** [lookit him]

he’s mine now

his name is Akamaru and he can fit in the hood of my jacket

I’ve only had Akamaru for two hours but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this planet and then myself

he has four dads who love him very much

**Nads:** four?????

four dads??????

explain?????

**Kibs:** o yeah

im part of a foursome now

shino and i have merged with shikamaru and neji to become a unified force of love and drunkedness is these trying times

**Saks:** OMG! Congratulations Kiba!

 

_ 12:59 AM _

**puppetmaster** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**puppetmaster:** is anyone going to explain to me why living with hinata is an explanation for neji and shino suddenly coming into possession of wedding rings???

someone???   
please???

oh god is she one of those people who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy

or is she the guy herself

she’s a druglord isn’t she

i should have known she was too innocent

 

_ 7:45 AM _

**biting kink** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**biting kink:** hey kankurou what the fuck


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *remembers that i last published 2 months ago*  
> *looks at the three finished chapters on my google drive*  
> i can explain

_ 4:20 PM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_Help?_ **

**Chibiusa:** DO YALL KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

**Sailor Jupiter:** Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy

**Chibiusa:** ITS 420

**Sailor Jupiter:** Aww healllllllll yeehhhhhh

**Chibiusa:** B L A Z E  I T

**Sailor Mars:** why are you like this

**Chibiusa:** WEED

MARIJUANA

KUSH

**Sailor Mars:** i need better friends

**Sailor Jupiter:** Don’t be like that Sasuke!

**Chibiusa:** don’t be a debbie downer saucegay

embrace the weed

**Sailor Jupiter:** no

 

_ 4:22 PM _

**Emo Legolas** _ to  _ **_MEEM TEEM_ **

**Emo Legolas:** help Naruto is making weed jokes

**Diet Water:** o shit i didn’t realize the time

**Emo Legolas:** Suigetsu no

**Snow White:** Suigetsu no

**Red Queen:** Suigetsu no

I am in three (3) groupchats and all of them blew up at 4:20

If you value your dick you’ll shut up

**Diet Water:** okay

 

_ 5:33 PM _ _   
_ **DOGS** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**DOGS:** HELLO YES THE RELATIONSHIP DRAMA IS FIXED

**better triplet:** How so

**drunk:** foursome

**hacker voice:** polyamory

**shino:** orgy

**DOGS:** love

**greywater:** ooh sounds fun

@ptsd™ @biting kink @orange thor

**ptsd™:** what

**biting kink:** what

**ptsd™:** Juugo: what do you want

**greywater:** wanna be a foursome

**biting kink:** i mean

i’m down if you’re down

sas?

**ptsd™:** Juugo is blushing really hard and covering his face with his hands but I think he said yes

Also I am okay with this

**greywater:** neat

**sunshine:** is that

is that how dating works

is it really that simple

**Bitchmama:** Apparently so.

**DOGS:** how was that so easy for you

**greywater:** we talk about our feelings and our problems???

was it hard for you guys?

**drunk:** kinda yeah

**hacker voice:** neji and kiba aren’t good at talking about their emotions and shino and i dont have emotions so

**greywater:** neither does sasuke and yet here we are

**10/10:** notice how sasuke isn’t denying it

**ptsd™:** Why would I reject the truth

Tenten I have spent the last eight years systematically eradicating every emotion I’ve ever felt

Why are you so surprised

**hitmonlee:** CAN WE TALK MORE ABOUT HOW THE BIG ORANGE MAN IS BLUSHING

I THOUGHT BIG MEN BLUSHING WAS JUST A COACH GAI THING

**dress to depress:** I wasn’t gonna say it

**swissrolls >you: ** excuse

**orange thor:** i’m hurt

**greywater:** have none of you ever fucking said two words to juggo

he blushes when sasuke is in the same room as him

and i just propositioned him for a foursome

why would he not be blushing

**swissrolls >you: ** ino

ino

ino

we have been friends for how long

**dress to depress:** idk how long have we been alive

**swissrolls >you: ** i blush more than most freshman cheerleaders

**sunshine:** on a more entertaining note

juggo

**greywater:** shit

i was hoping no one had noticed

**sunshine:** i have the eyes of an eagle for things i can make fun of people for

**DOGS** _ changed  _ **orange thor** _ ’s name to  _ **juggo**

**juggo:** why

**DOGS:** <3

**juggo** _ left the chat _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which naruto and sakura are my friends and sasuke is me and i just copied the non-plot stuff from our gc

_ 11:00 AM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_Help?_ **

**Chibiusa:** hey

hey sas

guess what

**Sailor Mars:** no

**Chibiusa:** nice anus kid, don’t be sneezy

**Sailor Mars** _ left the chat _

**Chibiusa** _ added  _ **Sailor Mars** _ to  _ **_Help?_ **

**Sailor Mars:** i need better friends

**Sailor Jupiter:** Probably, yeah.

**Chibiusa:** rude

anyways

anus

**Sailor Jupiter:** LEAVE ME AND MY ANAL CAVITY ALONE

**Chibiusa:** YOUR ANAL CAVITY IS MINE BINCH

**Sailor Jupiter:** NOOO SHE IS SACRED

 

_ 12:12 PM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_Help?_ **

**Chibiusa** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_that good succ_ **

 

_ 12:57 PM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Chibiusa:** Booooooy this boy in my math class always talks about doing drugs on his sc story and today he said

“I only do drugs cause im sad af, I need a significant other to help me get clean”

fam you need a therapist

**Sailor Jupiter:** oooooooooo he wants a ladayyyy

**Chibiusa:** lmao i dont think saying he needs someone to fix his drug addiction is gonna help him get a lady

**Sailor Mars:** the only lady that can help him is a doctor

**Chibiusa:** exactly

**Sailor Jupiter:** truuueee

 

_ 9:26 PM _

**Chibiusa** _to_ **_that good succ_**

**Chibiusa:** [r18 kids look away.jpeg]

i present to you

my nudes

thoughts?

**Sailor Jupiter:** Oofda

**Sailor Mars:** [back foul beast.png]

**Chibiusa:** hm, sauce thats not nice

**Sailor Jupiter:** what a beautiful creature

**Sailor Mars:** if you announce nudes then be prepared to send nudes

**Chibiusa:** that is a nudes tho

**Sailor Mars:** sure jan

**Chibiusa:** boo dead meme

**Sailor Mars:** I have nothing to offer but dead memes

this is all sui and karin have provided

**Sailor Jupiter:** my life is a dead meme

 

_ 11:57 PM _

**Sailor Mars** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Sailor Mars:** kiba won’t stop sending me dog pictures

**Chibiusa:** hes courting you

he wants to join the foursomes together and make an alpha eightsome

do those exist?

they do now i just decided

**Sailor Jupiter:** HE IS SENDING PICTURES TO YOU THAT HE ISNT SENDING TO THE DOGS GC

SHARE

**Sailor Mars:** [dog 1.png] [dog 2.png]  _ and 8 other images _

**Chibiusa:** those puppies look like

penises

**Sailor Jupiter:** I Am Going To Hurt You

**Chibiusa:** am i wrong tho

**Sailor Mars:** …

**Sailor Jupiter:** they look

like good pups

remove your phallacy from this place

**Chibiusa:** absolutely the fuck not

**Sailor Mars:** they’re penis pups

**Sailor Jupiter:** Blocked

**Chibiusa:** lmfao

reported for bullying and nudity

**Sailor Mars:** I feel abused

**Sailor Jupiter:** Uninvited from my birthday party

**Chibiusa:** mood

**Sailor Mars:** ok, ok, they look like

a

ad

adorable puppers

**Chibiusa:** did you just

just

is this what pride feels like

**Sailor Jupiter:** character development

**Chibiusa:** SPEAKING of birthdays

when i turn 18 im legally changing my name to cheryl

**Sailor Jupiter:** big mood

**Sailor Mars:** fucking do it

**Chibiusa:** there will be wine and sandwhiches cut into triangles to celebrate my adulthood

**Sailor Jupiter:** Awww hell yeah, thats fancy as fuq

**Sailor Mars:** sandwhiches

**Chibiusa:** eat my ass Susan

**Sailor Mars:** suck my pussy Natalie

**Chibiusa:** Uhm, ew? uncalled for smh

**Sailor Mars:** stop calling me susan binch

  
_ 3:15 AM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Chibiusa:** owo daddy whats thWIS Indulgences??? in mwy church??? ufff Jesus daddy wont be hwappy!!! we must wite de neenty five thwesis!! ywour sins cwant be fweed with money!!! wets start the renaissance Jesus daddy!!! I love your cwummies after all!!!

**Sailor Mars:** In all seriousness Naruto

Go fuck a horse

**Chibiusa:** fuck me instead baby

**Sailor Jupiter:** [and id reform 500 years.jpeg]

what a legend

**Chibiusa:** Id nail him against a church dorr unf daddt

Daddy

**Sailor Mars:** N a r u t o

**Sailor Jupiter:** oooo secksy mommy

**Chibiusa:** oof

**Sailor Mars:** you fucks

my uncle just read over my shoulder and asked me who daddy is and I had to tell him that you were referring to the progenitor of the protestant faith, Martin Luther

kys

both of you

**Chibiusa:** oof yes baby how did you know that was my kink

**Sailor Jupiter:** oh lord my innocent eyes

**Sailor Mars:** saku what innocent eyes

**Sailor Jupiter:** shut your mouth sasuke

**Sailor Mars:** No

No

You and Tenten made out in front of my fuckin house, shut ur fuck

**Sailor Jupiter:** …

**Chibiusa:** WHOA

**Sailor Mars:** I dont wanna hear about your innocent anything

**Chibiusa:** WOWIE

**Sailor Jupiter:** imma go kill myself real quick

**Sailor Mars:** bye

**Chibiusa:** sakura gettin it

**Sailor Jupiter:** shut up nards

**Chibiusa:** no

**Sailor Jupiter:** sigh

 

_ 8:00 AM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Chibiusa:** [leave me and my anus alone -sak.jpg]

**Sailor Jupiter:** …

**Sailor Mars:** didnt know you were into that sakura

**Chibiusa:** oh she is, trust me

**Sailor Jupiter:** oh you know it, bby

**Sailor Mars:** how would you know nardo

**Chibiusa:** ;)

**Sailor Mars:** yall fuckin without me

**Chibiusa:** sorry bby

we’ll invite you next time

**Sailor Jupiter:** hell yeah

**Sailor Mars:** youd better

 

_ 7:34 PM _

**Sailor Mars** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Sailor Mars:** I just

found out

that i have a cousin

**Chibiusa:** yeah a lot of us have those

youre dating one of mine

**Sailor Mars:** but this one is alive though

**Sailor Jupiter:** holy shit

**Chibiusa:** holy shit

**Sailor Mars:** he was someone’s one-night-stand baby from college and he’s been in the foster system but he got into some trouble and they ran his dna and it had a good match with Him and Obito didn’t even question it he just signed the adoption papers

I have

a living cousin

**Chibiusa:** youre introducing us to him tomorrow right

**Sailor Jupiter:** of course he is

 

_ 8:27 AM _

**sunshine** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**sunshine** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_sasuke uchiha: douche extraordinaire_ **

**ptsd™** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_naruto uzumaki deserves nothing but death_ **

**sunshine** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_dont fucking start bitch_ **

**ptsd™** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_naruto fucking stop before i do something ill regret_ **

**sunshine** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_thats it_ **

**ptsd™** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_fuck you cuntbiscuit_ **

 

_ 9:52 AM _

***~princess~*** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

 

_ 5:13 PM _

**ptsd™** _ to  _ **_sarutobi homeroom_ **

**ptsd™:** now taking applications for the Let’s Murder Naruto club

Only qualification needed is either having been or knowing someone who has been personally wronged by Naruto Uzumaki

**drunk:** sign me the fuck up

**dress to depress:** rt

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** rt

**Bitchmama:** rt

**10/10:** rt

**greywater:** rt

**hitmonlee:** rt

**DOGS:** rt

**puppetmaster:** rt

**juggo:** rt

**biting kink:** rt

**better triplet:** rt

**hacker voice:** rt

**swissrolls >you: ** before i rt, out of curiosity what did he do this time

**ptsd™:** i dunno, why don’t you ask Naruto?

**swissrolls >you: ** @sunshine why

**sunshine:** sai was being a dick, so i was a dick back

**shino:** no. be nice to the new kid.

**10/10:** the new bab needs love and affection, not Naruto brand assholery

**ptsd™:** speaking of which

**ptsd™** _ added  _ **Sai Uchiha** _ to the chat _

**sunshine:** you Did Not

**Sai Uchiha:** hello!

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand** _ changed  _ **Sai Uchiha** _ ’s name to  _ **calligraphy whore**

**calligraphy whore:** you’re not wrong

**sand guardian, guardian of the sand:** he fuckign painted a huge ass mural with just a paintbrush and a bottle of india ink??? its his first day and i think Yamato is ready for Murder

i hope he doesnt try to kill the whole class

**10/10:** yeah this school cant afford to lose 30 students

that’s like

an entire graduating class

**ino:** nah fam thats like

2 graduating classes

youre being generous

**greywater:** ya wasnt the last tie a graduating class had more than 20 people like 50 yrs ago or smth?

**sunshine:** kakashi’s class had 35ish

**greywater:** so yeah 50 years

**swissrolls >you: ** isnt he only like 15 years older than us

**sunshine:** 14 but yes

**puppetmaster:** question: why do you know the age difference between us and our creative writing teacher

also his first name is kakashi

as in scarecrow

**sunshine:** i??? live with him??? hes me legal guardian???

also his boyf made a huge deal out of his 30th bday last year because THIRTY IS THE MOST NOBLE OF BIRTHDAYS AND DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED WITH ALL APPROPRIATE VIGOUR! THE GOLDEN DAYS OF YOUR YOUTH HAVE NOT YET COME TO PASS, DEAR RIVAL!!!

i got to make a cake with 100 candles because gai has all the common sense of a dazed golden retriever puppy and thought i was just trying to give Kakashi all the candles because he deserves them when in reality i was just being a Little Shit

and what did you think his first name was???

**puppetmaster:**  mr

 **10/10:** i thought it was rival

thats what coach always calls him and i know theyre a thing so

 **sunshine:** i

yall is stupid

 

_ 11:59 PM _

**Frank** _ to  _ **_hardy boys_ **

**Frank:** I’m going to preface this by saying that my therapist tells me I need to talk to people about my feelings more, and Obito says that if I don’t listen to her then he’ll take away my car keys because apparently the way I deal with things is what Dr. Whitmore calls “unhealthy coping mechanisms”. Under no circumstances am I doing this of my own volition.

I know that it might seem like I’m overreacting, but 

You know what happened to my

Apart from Obito, Sai is the only family I have left.

You know that I’m not the type of person who gets sentimental and even less the type to tell anyone, but after everything That Cunt put us through, when we found out that Sai existed it felt like part of me had been returned.

He may be callous and inappropriate and kind of  douche, but so am I and you’ve put up with me for seven years. He came to this school with me and I was

I was excited to introduce my last living family member to my friends, and he was excited too because he’s never been able to stay in one place long enough to make anything but enemies.

He thought it would be different here. You showed him that its not. He hasn’t said anything in almost 3 days now.

im just asking you to give him a chance. You dont have to make a big public apology or anytihng. You don’t even have to like him. Just dont be terrible to him again

‘night, naruto

 

_ 4:12 AM _

**Joe** _ to  _ **_hardy boys_ **

**Joe:** I just spent two hours drafting a response to this so im just gonna copy-paste it

I didn’t realize what I was doing. You may have noticed sometime in the last seven years that I do this thing where I act before I think, and it gets really easy to treat similar people in the same way even if I know logically that they shouldn’t be treated the same at all.

Somewhere in my mind, I likened Sai to you and treated him the same way I treat you, and it occurs to me now that when not speaking to you, the things I say can be taken as incredibly rude and, in general, the kind of style that should only be used in conversation with one’s best friend.

I know that you don’t like it when people bring it up or treat you differently for it, so I do my best to forget about the Thing that The Cunt did, and I now realize that in doing so I let myself forget how important your family is to you, and subsequently I was a dick to your cousin.

I am sorry. I don’t know how to make this up to you, or to Sai. If punching me in the face helps either one of you, then name a time and place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU where nards and sas talk about their emotions, sorry if this is too ooc for you


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which sasuke and naruto have apologised, but havent accepted those apologies yet, and in true teenager fashion ignore their mounting issues rather than address them further.

_ 3:22 AM _

**Ino** _ to  _ **Sakura**

**Ino:** [age 7.jpeg]

look what i found while i was cleaning my room

**Sakura:** dude a) wtf, it’s three in the morning

b) is that me???

**Ino:** a) i dont pay you to question my motives

b) ye

**Sakura:** pfftf

Lmao thats pretty hot

**Ino:** b r u h

**Sakura:** yeah?

**Ino:** b  r u  h

you just called tiny child-you hot

**Sakura:** dude I wish we were still cute and in girl scouts

fuck

don’t say it like that

now I look like a narcissistic pedo

**Ino:** idk about you but im still cute and in girl scouts

**Sakura:** gee thanks my guy

**Ino:** you still cute tho

**Sakura:** liessss

**Ino:** YOU A QT

**Sakura:** i look like a slightly chubby twelve year old

**Ino:** Q

T

 

_ 6:32 AM _

**Ino** _ to  _ **Sakura**

**Ino:** i lied

i hate you

**Sakura:** ???

**Ino:** i hate you and your stupid period

**Sakura:** what did i do???

**Ino:** your stupid hormones jumpstarted my stupid period too

**Sakura:** haha

i suffer, you suffer bitchtits

**Ino** _ changed  _ **Sakura** _ ’s name to  _ **sauerkraut**

**sauerkraut:** okay in all honesty fuck you

 

_ 8:52 PM _

**big fan** _ to  _ **_ughhhhhhhhhh_ **

**big fan:** do any of yall ever just

take a boob in hand 

and just squish

**knife:** i would if i had tits

**pinkie pie:** of course i do

**big fan:** if youre expecting anything else then stop 

thats all i had to say

**flower power:** theyre basically stuffed animals to me

i cuddle with them bruh

**pinkie pie:** i just sit there and like,,, bounce it in hand

**knife:** i cuddle blankets not tits wyd ino

I HAVE NOTHING TO BOUNCE

 

_ 9:06 PM _

**pinkie pie** _ to  _ **_ughhhhhhhhhh_ **

**pinkie pie:** hey ino

**flower power:** what

**pinkie pie:** we should go to homecoming

**flower power:** No

**knife:** lmao

**big fan:** sakura why don’t you go with tenten

your girlfriend

**knife:** do i look like i have homecoming money

**pinkie pie:** inooooooo why

**flower power:** why do i want to go to hoco

**pinkie pie:** it would be fun dude

**big fan:** come on, i’ll be there too

**flower power:** hnggggg its so expensive tho

i have better things to spend $50 on than a hoco ticket and who fucking knows how much on everything else

**pinkie pie:** yeah, true

I just really want to go for some reason

**flower power:** last year hoco sucked,,,,, and while i have great faith in Karin Uzumaki’s planning abilities, she planned hoco all by herself this year and it’s not made to be a one-person job

**knife:** o heck did she????

i didnt know that

**big fan:** yeah it’s our class’s turn to plan hoco but none of us care so karin apparently came through like a hero and did 90% of the planning herself

**pinkie pie:** damn that makes me want to go even more

i hate our class so much

**knife:** same

we’re all just a bunch of lazy fuckos

**flower power:** do you guys ever think that maybe we’re the entire problem at this fucking school

**big fan:** ????yes?????

**knife:** absolutely??????

**pinkie pie:** our class can probably be blamed for like 90% of this schools problems

do you have any idea how many fights i have to pull naruto out of

its way too fuckin many

 

_ 7:52 PM _

**stan** _ to  _ **_no cursing in front of the Child_ **

**stan:** why

**anxiety:** Oh gosh, Kiba what did you do

**stan:** Kiba Why

**furry:** why do you always assume that when something goes wrong its my fault

**stan:** kiba you goy piece of dollar store dark chocolate there are things you dont tell people

i am going to break into your house and replace your shoelaces with cooked spaghetti while you sleep

**furry:** okay but i really don’t know what i did

**stan:** you told. kurenai. my kinks.

**anxiety:** Kiba why

**stan:** not even my real kinks

you made shit up

she took me aside after class today because some of my “kinks” are illegal

so not only why did you make up kinks for me

but also why did you TELL KURENAI

**furry:** i didnt tell kurenai???

i was joking around with nart and kurenai snuck up behind us

jfc (jellybean flavoured crust) shino

 

_ 10:08 AM _

**Chibiusa** _ to  _ **_that good succ_ **

**Chibiusa:** do yall ever realize that like

the only reason they call it senioritis is because Big Education doesnt want to admit that their system is giving us all depression

**Sailor Jupiter:** wow starting off sad hour with a bang huh

**Sailor Mars:** we were gonna get there eventually

might as well cut out the fluff

but yes

i realized that a long time ago

its amazing how i started recognizing a lot of my own symptoms in other people even though they insist they dont have depression

**Sailor Jupiter:** can we postpone sad hour please

its 10am on a sunday, my parents are at church, and my girlfriend just got here to do gross couple shit with me

can sad hour wait until like,,, midnight please

**Chibiusa:** okay then

lets change the subject

what lang class are yall taking

**Sailor Jupiter:** thats still school talk

**Chibiusa:** but it’s not about depression anymore

**Sailor Mars:** i dunno

forcing us to take a language course every other semester is kinda depressing

but also like

ap japanese 4

**Chibiusa:** you take a langauge course every semester

how are you not fucking dead

/how have you not run out of japanese courses to take

**Sailor Mars:** [screenshot 12673.png]

“Naruto you are aware that we live in the largest East Asian immigrant community in the state right” (-Neji Hyuuga, December 21st 2017, 2:31 PM)

**Chibiusa:** wow

i came out to have a good time and im feeling so attacked right now

**Sailor Jupiter:** [screenshot 6732.png]

“boo dead meme” (-Naruto Uzumaki, January 15th 2018, 9:37 PM)

**Chibiusa:** jfc stop coming for my ass like this

yall needa chill

i just wanted to know what lang yall are gonna be in

**Sailor Jupiter:** korean 3

wbu nart

**Chibiusa:** spanish 4

easy A bby

**Sailor Mars:** [screenshot 12674.png]

“Why are you such a Westernist” (-Sasuke Uchiha, December 21st 2017, 2:35 PM)

**Chibiusa** _ left the chat _

**Sailor Mars:** coward


End file.
